During the last couple of weeks I dived deep into the sacred feminine to restore some of the wisdom that lies at the bottom of the ocean, in the womb of our mother earth, in my womb. I was made aware of the deep relationship we as women have with her through our sacred womb.
Since my first official shamanic journey meditation, where I met beloved mother earth, I started to deepen the relationship to her & she started to support me sometimes in my sessions with clients with her grounding, loving & nurturing energy. She somehow works also through my hair, I know it may sound crazy, but it is what I experienced and I deeply trust my intuition and my inner wisdom and don’t hesitate to share any longer. It is time we speak our truth and talk real talk based on our experiences and with openness and braveness, being ready to show all sides of our being with juicy honesty and allow a sweet feeling of vulnerability to appear.
We as women have to appreciate more our inner wisdom, our natural intuition, our inner softness & sweetness. Let go the old beliefs of we gotta be strong, control (also control men ;-)) & dive into our sacred feminine. Our womb and in particular our uterus is the place of power, is the place of creation and has the power of manifestation. The womb is the holly grail, the vessel where love and light is stored. In our womb we hold water, our inner ocean. It is the gift of women (or of the inner female part in each one of us) to weave the cosmic energies into the earth in order to create a new earth.
Water brings us into our female flow. In connection with this precious element we start to connect with our intuitive wisdom, to the teachings of mother earth. Water is one connection to the other realms through feelings, air (thoughts, head) is another one (male approach) through consciousness, breath work and more.
Water connects us all, water connects sky & earth. Our tears also connect us to the womb of the mother, the ocean, it contains the same liquid. As women we are deeply connected to the cycles and mysteries of life. We flow as the tides of the ocean and also have the strong connection to Hina – the moon and her wonderful and strong energies.
Most of the time when I connect with water (my power place is also a place at the ocean) dolphins and sometimes a big whale appear. I was taken on many magic journeys with this mother whale, either in her belly (very cosy, warm and pampering) or on her back. The whale to me represents pure female energy. They have a huge belly and womb, they sing for the planet in order to hold a high vibration, they dive deep to the bottom of the ocean, into the darkness, to come up with new wisdom and strength. They follow their intuition and go thousands of kilometers across the ocean back to the places they cherish. Whales are so important for the balance of the earth, therefore we have to protect their playground so they can continue their important task.
During the retreats I provided in beautiful and magic Andalucia, I started to do water ceremonies in the Atlantic ocean and work with the healing forces of the ocean. It’s so cool how water makes us behave like little children and free spirits and readily let go old stuck energy and come back with juicy joy in our hearts, completely refreshed. Several times I experienced that women started to get naked while entering the ocean, free and strong and in their female power. Water is just amazing!
During my numerous paddle sessions and ceremonies on water, I started to connect more with mother water, mother ocean, mother lake and her wisdom as a carrier of life. I feel deep gratitude for all the teachings from the water. I love you from the bottom of my heart for all you provide me with, for all you share with me and in particular for your ability to connect me with my female qualities such as feeling deep gratitude, love, healing, intuition and connection to the stored memories of past societies and past lives and the reactivation of old wisdom that lie in every drop of water. Mahalo nui.
Do you remember my blog about sacred masculine?https://www.facebook.com/valoha.ch/posts/1686141158359149 (German)
There I emphasized how important it is for us women to go beyond a victim state & provide space & strengths for our beautiful brothers to let go their old pains & trauma from the life of former warriors & bread winners. Yes, still agree on that, but a new level of sacred feminine appears at the surface of my inner ocean: the wounded feminine needs to be considered & carried for, it is a journey who confronts us with deep pain & vulnerability. The pain of the wounded feminine is still very strong in our personal and collective consciousness. It is important to dive into it, let our wombs tell us the old stories, let it go & flow away as does our monthly blood.
During a shamanic education a year ago, when I was hit by strong moon days pain, the facilitator created a healing space for me. She asked all ancestors of my female lineages to appear. I saw them in a huge line and was experiencing the pain of all my female ancestors back to the very beginning of our lives here on earth (the collective pain of all women). I screamed and cried excessively as I saw & felt all the pain from centuries of women loosing their child, not being valued, respected, being abused, tortured for their abilities, rapped etc. It was beyond imagination. The facilitator stopped me after some screeming & crying, but there was much more to be released. Even though the pain was enormous, I felt a lot of strength and happiness in me & would have loved to continue & involve other sisters in the room to finally let go that old drama in us. But it was probably going to far for the group present in the room and our shamanic education program :-). But the event pointed out to me, that I had stored all that pain in my womb & let it appear once a month during my moon days. Since my first period I experienced this pain in my womb & lower black. This intense moment of feeling the wounded feminine so deeply & the strong monthly pain of my moon days made me starting my inner conversation with my uterus. I know it might sound strange but my uterus started to talk to me and show me a way to breath into my womb in order to release & heal. After a short while of practice and less monthly pain during moon days I forgot about it and was flowing with a busy and focused stream of activities around my business and the activities to protect our water, the ocean, lake Zurich (very much in my male creator energy with precious moments of diving deep into my female intuition).
During Easter this year after a Sauna visit with a beloved sister, I was having a vision with Mary Magdalene (Myriam) and Jesus (Yeshua), more on my connection to them in my previous blog. Myriam gave us a white-rose peony, a very symbolic flower, the meaning only now appears to me: it is a symbol of healing, a deep feeling of comfort and security that offers motherly love. More about the meaning of the peony to my healing process later.
Only now after an intense session of body de-armouring and emotional detox, I started to connect again more with my female wounds. Highly recommend these sessions to all my sisters: https://elliottsaxby.com , also @Silentpower regularly.
So many wombs have been penetrated without honoring their quality, their sacredness, so has mine. We as women are the gatekeepers of our womb and have to be conscious who we let in to our precious treasure. If we just want to be caressed by our partner, lover, husband, then we respect that need and don’t go further in order to please him. We have to love and care for ourselves to the point where we set clear boarders and stay strong for what we need in that very moment.
During my studies of social anthropology and my travels in Arabic countries and East Africa over 20 years ago, I was made aware of the practice of female genital cutting. This touched me deeply and I felt that it was to take away the power of women to be creators of new life. But it is not only abroad where we find the domination of male energy over female power.
Men intuitively know about the power of the womb, the nurturing and comforting quality, the nectar that it holds. Unless they have a strong own feminine side integrated that nurtures them from inside their need to have very frequent sexual encounters with women is strong. But the real nectar and merging with the divine feminine and pampering in the arms of mother earth can only be found in soft, conscious and loving sexual encounters where women can deeply open up and be in the flow of their female energy.
I remember that if a man is really fully in his heart and knows how to control his sexual energy the lingam can work as a door opener / portal for us women. Around 14 years ago I was having joyful, passionate sex with an ex-partner, when all of a sudden I saw a beating heart in my third eye and had a deep feeling of love and joy running through my cells. His lingam and his love were able to open up the channel between my womb and my heart. This was really overwhelming and we stayed in a bubble of deep and sweet love and appreciation for each other and life in general for a couple of days even though we were not staying in the same place. If the male and female energies melt in a context of love, softness and appreciation, so much is possible!
Mahalo nui for all u strong, mindful & heart based brothers to allow us to dive deep into our inner oceans & come back with a new strength & readiness to open up to whole new levels of sacred union, based on recognition of each other strengths & gifts.
But where the pain is is also a sweet nectar that allows us to heal & come back refreshed & re-energized. Trauma and pain are the doorways to new freedom and inner development. So after a day of feeling the pain of my wounded feminine, my womb and I started to talk to each other through feelings and images, inner visions. Since then many intuitive healings took place where I was able to transform the old energies stored in my womb connected to men, my unborn child etc. It has been an amazing journey where I was able to release so much and at the same time learn how to recover my womb and also received some techniques for the healing of the womb.
This afternoon finally a big inner event happened: firstly when I connected with my womb and did my breathing exercise and filled up my womb with love I was shown how to heal the sacred womb and how to restore the connection between the heart and the womb with the peony flower and the support of mother earth.
Then I was told to do the healing work with my female ancestors. Already the day before I knew that I would need to do some inner work with my ancestors in order to free up their wombs of old pain. I felt a strong connection to mother earth when the big whale appeared and took me on a little journey. Back on my beloved power place on Kauai I saw many many women entering the ocean. I was carried softly in the water by mother earth, mother ocean. All of a sudden many mermaids came out of the ocean, one for each ancestor and one for myself. I was so touched, blessed and full of gratitude. I was starting to release the pain in my womb while being carried and moved around by my mermaid. Then 3 waves came from the ocean. I faced them with my open womb first. The first one was soft, second stronger and the third one very strong and powerful. Everything was washed and cleared and I felt the hands of the mermaid under my lower back holding me. As she started to move me again in the water my womb started tingling and vibrating, it was so joyful. The same happened to my ancestors at the same time. Then I saw my beloved grandma, who has been such a strong support from the other side at the beginning of my spiritual opening. It was overwhelming to see her supporting us and be in her power. Together with her we gave a deep healing to my physical mother (her daughter). Some weeks ago she told me that she is now closer again as she works with the earth, now I start to understand. Stilly deeply touched and full of gratitude. We had a long hug full of tears of joy and love. Then I looked up to my ancestors and saw the release in their faces and a deep inner joy. At the end we were all lying in the ocean in a circle, connecting with our left hand placed on the womb of the women next to us. There was a lot of power and light. I saw how the wombs of my ancestors started to glow just as mine. We then imbedded the radiating love of our wombs and heart into the ocean, also using crystals in order to heal the womb of our beloved mother earth. Afterwards an ocean power animal appeared and connected with each women. At the shore I saw some brothers that are close to me and have supported me strongly with their male qualities in my inner opening, that made me cry again.
It is so funny how life plays: since about three years different female spiritual teachers always told me that one of my gifts is to work with female energy and support women to find back to their divine feminine. I said yes ok, but I do consider sacred male energy equally important and also want to help to bring that energy to women in order to stay more focused, stronger and brave as pirates. Also, couple of clients approached me asking whether I could support them regarding specific female issues such as uterus problems, trauma due to violation etc.
Well, after the last days I really see the importance of the divine feminine from a different angle and am ready to let my refreshed female energy flow and allow other women to open up to their potential as well as continue to support the healing of the womb of our mother earth with even more focus and inner strength.
A funny analogy to my life: in my sacral chakra (that holds our divine feminine) I have a sea turtle. Yes, in every chakra you also have a power animal that supports you in this area :-). As I watched a film about new born sea turtles and saw their though survival fight at the very beginning from sand to the ocean, being chased by many enemies on land and in water it reminded me of the first part of my life. The believe of „life is though and only the though ones survive“ had been stored in my sacral chakra from past (life) experiences. Finally it is time to allow a softer flow of juicy joy to enter my sacral chakra and let my sea turtle swim in an ocean of Aloha and share her wisdom with me.
Mahalo nui to my deep wounds from my early 20s (unborn child, ex-husband etc.) and the memories of past lives that opened me up to look deeper into the female side of things and find back to my deep female essence. Only in the sacred union of female and male energies we can create a new healthy and joyful earth.
At the beginning of the new year in 2015, being in my second home Andalucia, I had a dream: A black bear appeared (strong female energy): she helped me to stay in front of people and alert them of a tsunami approaching and I was able to bring them to the other side of the lake. Today I realize this is now (in the year of Venus), the tsunami of a new fresh female energy is approaching. It is time for me to share my truth with courage and help the earth to allow the female energy to heal and build the basis of a new earth.
„Women are like the Moon, we change gradually from day to day. You never see the whole of the cycle; you can only ever see one phase.“ Miranda Gray